Day 5

So after a much needed r&r day, I was back at it. I had promised myself that I was going to dedicate more time to working out today. That idea seemed to fade. More time working out? I have so much stuff I have to do. Or so I liked to tell myself.

After going  back-and-forth mentally, I finally decided to go ahead and get my workout over and done with. I love working out alone. I never really understood why I didn’t like to work out when it was crowded. Maybe I was a bit self-conscious of my weight. To some, I was not even overweight. I don’t need a scale to feel overweight. I can just feel it. I can also see why many people are discouraged to work out. Getting into the gym is tough, especially with a life going on. Many people get caught up in poor habits. Work and family life consume our time. Working out becomes a novelty rather than a necessity.

I don’t fault anyone who struggles with their weight. It’s all relative. You reach a certain weight or size that you feel is unacceptable. Once you determine that, you now have to push yourself to do something about it. If I sit here and complain on how difficult and hard it is to work out then nothing gets done. Just pointless complaints.

Now back to my workout. There was a couple in the gym working out. I don’t know why I thought twice about going in. We’re all there for the same reason, right? I noticed how my expectations began to dwindle. I went from wanting to do a full workout to only wanting to do cardio. Of course I began to conjure excuses as to why cardio would be the best decision.

“Nope” – That’s how all of it starts. The process of slacking off. First there’s a goal, for example: Getting a full workout in. Second there’s a drop off in the goal expectation, such as: Because there are people occupying some of the machines and weights, I’ll just do cardio. Third, there’s the repetition. If I choose to slack off in one aspect, I tend to do the same in another area. Fourth, there’s a repetitive cycle of goal setting and drop off until finally it is completed. Your goal is now depleted (because of the goal drop-off) and now we’re stuck in slack-off mode.

So now that I’m saying ‘no’ to myself, I have to push myself even harder. I’m going to do my full workout as intended instead of slacking off. I made my mind up…final answer.

I ran for 30 minutes. Surprisingly my back did not ache at all. Usually that was a common thing during my workout. Ten minutes in and I felt like Mike Tyson after he fought Clifford Etienne. This only motivated to go harder. There must be some type of progress achieved if my back wasn’t giving me problems.

Once again, after 30 minutes of jogging/mild sprinting I took the weights. I vowed to do a complete workout today. I dedicated a hour out of my day to work out and that was what I was going to do for the remaining 30 minutes.

In the next 30 minutes, I did burpees, squats, chest presses (incline and decline), curls, overhead rows and sit-ups. By now, I was looking like someone threw a bucket of water over my head. My face was red, sweat covered the bench and I could feel my body groaning from the workout.

So far so good. Today, I didn’t eat particularily poorly. Plenty of water, some Chipotle (I had a B.O.G.O. free coupon; I had to use it!), another smoothie, my vitamins and some Raisian Bran Crunch. I’m really trying with the whole healthy-food kick. I’m getting there slowly but surely.

I noticed some changes since my first workout that I’m proud of. No longer am I “dying” after 10 minutes, I am able to keep a faster pace for longer which means I’m able to work harder. This is all good. It’s what I call progress, as small as it may be.

It’s pretty funny because my little brother and I used to be on this healthy-living regimen years ago. He’d run miles a day and I’d visit the gym almost daily. Well like I said that was years ago. Recently, he was seen my one of our uncles who said that he was starting to “get big”. He texted me right away. It was the same uncle who made sure that he was the first to notice my belly. No one wants to hear that they’re getting big. I’m pretty sure the individual who has gained weight notices that they’ve gained weight. I’m sure a reminder of how much weight we’ve gained would surely make us run to the gym (sarcasm). My point being, that we all fall off but our goals that we once had can still be put in place and achieved. Because I really don’t want to hear him talking about my “belly looking like my dad’s” anymore.